Letters to My Abusers

What I Couldn't Say Then

Releasing Letter Guide

The following is to be used as a guide. Each part of this process, holds its own benefit in your healing. It is a way to purge, confront, acknowledge, and break the silence of what was done to you and a proclamation of how you are taking back the power taken from you as a child. Here is a guide I’ve developed based on the letters I’ve written on my own path to healing.

In as much detail as possible, describe what your abuser did to you on a physical level.

Describe what you were thinking or feeling at the time (numb, nothing, is normal as well as terrified and confused) There is no right or wrong.

Include the emotions and beliefs you carried with you all these years and how some of it continues to affect you today.

Describe how it should have been (ex. you should have loved and respected me, I should have been safe in your care)

Include how that person changed you and how you see the world.

Let them know you are now taking back your power.

Release them from the toxic hold they’ve had on your body and mind. If you feel you want to forgive them, do so. If you are not ready, explain how you are not going to allow them to infiltrate your life anymore. Let them go.

This letter is for you, it is not necessarily a letter you will send. If you decide to send it, please make sure you are in a place where you are ready for any backlash that may come from sending it and that you are safe and supported. If not, do not send it at this time. It is still effective without giving it to your perpetrator.

Please include the age at which you were abused and whether the person was a relative, family friend, stranger etc.

I am also asking that you include some reflection on the process of writing the letter: the emotions that came up, the difficulty writing it, the time it took, the benefit you think you received and anything you may want to say in the form of advice to other survivors. You may also include where you are in your healing and what has helped you the most.

Please include a short bio (no more than one to two paragraphs) which includes what you are doing today.

Be kind and loving to yourself always but especially during and after writing this letter. Know that many emotions will surface and be sure to have a support system in place.


Submit to: sgagos@aol.com