Letters to My Abusers

What I Couldn't Say Then

What People Are Saying

I have received such wonderful input that I decided to share it with all of you. I feel truly blessed whenever I receive feedback about my work and I am honored to connect with other survivors.  There is so much we can learn from one another and I am always amazed at our stories and our courage.  Here is a sample of my correspondence with readers.  


I think what you have done by telling your story is absolutely wonderful and very crucial to the change that is needed in society. My motto is that we can break the silence, one VOICE at a time, and I believe that is what we are all doing, by carving out a path for others to walk upon.

Love & Support, Haullie



I admire you for what you are doing.  I am an adult survivor.  The thought of a letter brings a terror to my soul.  I wish I knew how to say what is in my heart.  I have attempted therapy not to long ago and it did not work.  Not sure what I am suppose to do in therapy, do not know if it is my inability to communicate my pain or the therapist inability to be able to deal with severe sexual abuse and trauma.
The therapist wanted me to talk about the abuse.  I was able to sit down and write out one attack in a cold third person manner.  I gave this to her hoping she would be able to help me deal with the emotions simmering under the surface that I was never able to face or let out.  It ended there.  The next time I had a visit.  The conversation was about everything but that for the next two sessions.  So, I just stopped going, never received a follow-up call "are you dead or what".  I got the feeling that she had never spoken to anyone about severe sexual trauma.  
I am sorry I am rambling here.  Not sure where I am going with this email.
Wish I had you courage.



I checked out your websites last night.  You have a wondrous gift for words.  I was touched by your story and your letter.

I wish I could organize my thoughts/feelings and put them in such a powerful and sincere why as you.  You have a real gift.  And now you are using it to help others.  That is actually quite noble. 

Good luck and take care!  I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. 

Hi Stephanie,

My best friend told me about your website.  I commend you for your bravery
in helping all these survivors have a voice.  Such a simplistic idea, but
it's a powerful one.

I too am a survivor.  It took me many years to get through the layers.  Just
when I felt I was finished, something brightened the stain on your soul.  My
healing was complete a few years ago after I wrote a letter to my abuser
which my DH encouraged me to send.  Finally, I felt free of the pain, shame,
hurt and embarrassment and put it back in my abuser's court.

I believe I have a copy of my letter.  I'll look for it and send it along.

Take care...and continue your great work,
Hi Stephanie,
I really need to commend what you are doing.  Has the timeframe for submitting letters to be a part of the book passed?

I have found in my experience, victims remain silent and prevent healing and in essence protect the abuser.  I believe that your site will help survivors of abuse to heal and to encourage people to share their stories.  It is their right, and too many remain silent.  I hope that your book is a huge success.  I feel that it is a very important contribution you will be making by completing this project.  I am proud of you. 

I am so moved and inspired to write a letter.  I haven't decided to send it or not.  But, I have now written it in my head a hundred times and have been thinking about this for several months (when I first found your website)  I just didn't know where to start writing.  But, since I decided to write, I can already feel wounds preparing to heal and chapters beginning to write themselves closed.

I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart.  I don't know if I ever would have taken this step if I hadn't read your story, and about your project.

Blessings be to you!


Good Morning, Stephanie~
Wow. I just returned home today from vacation and of course came straight to the computer. I've looked at all your sites, all the information in them, the truth and honesty, the pain. I almost feel as if I have no right to place my pain alongside yours - it seems so small and brief and unreal -, yet, I would love to contribute for any others out there who question the validity of their abuse next to stories like yours and others I have read recently.
I think it is a wonderful project you are doing for a wonderful cause. Please let me know when I should have a letter to you, and I will do my best to write something healing and empowering to hopefully be included in your project.

L. Monique


Wow, Stephanie.  We have even more in common than I thought.  I read your letter to Norman.   I have never read such a vivid account.  It wasn't vivid in that "a lot" happened (I worked with abused boys for a year and their stories are truly horrifying).  But it's the clarity with which you write about both what's happening and your thoughts, then and now.  It's like I was in your head, and that bubbled up my own abuses.  I have always acknowledged them, but brushed them off, because they weren't brutal.  I was never truly raped.  Yet, I was molested countless times, by countless men, beginning at 9 and continuing into adulthood.  That same sense of numbness and shutting down was what I experienced each time I experienced a sexual encounter that started out or became uncomfortable or disrespectful in some way.  Reading your thoughts helped me acknowledge, on a surface level at least, that yes, this did affect me deeply -- who I trusted and didn't, who I attracted, what I felt I'm worth. 

No, thank YOU. That's THE BEST survivor's site I've ever seen. Your desire to get at truth is what makes it effing fabulous. I review books, and I wish I could get an iota the truth from most of them that's found just lying about your site-the parts YOU write.

I'm sure you realize this, but-you're an artist, Stephanie.

And an unusually good one; I hope you realize THIS. I don't say this to too many, so, for whatever it's worth to you. *G*



 You are a true survivor and your voice is now being
heard around the world. It's wonderful to see someone who against all
adversity is able to share such a a compelling story to help save the
lives of others.

Larry Blenn